My late father’s name was Abdul Rahman bin Abdullah.
It means “Servant of The All Compassionate, son of a servant of God.”
Perhaps there’s a slight variation to the Romanised spelling but the translation in Arabic remains the same.
Interestingly enough, it is also the name of one of the Surah in the Quran, Ar-Rahman. This Surah in particular is known for its refrain “Then which of your Lord’s blessings would you deny?”
One of the main aims of the Surah is to chastise men and jinns for their lack of gratitude towards Allah, who has showered them with an abundance of blessings…
… of which I am ever so guilty of.
As I reflect back about what this name means to me, I thought about the relationship I had with my father, the man who bears the name perhaps most favoured by Allah.
Have I shown enough gratitude for his contribution to my life? I sadly doubted so.
My relationship with him was strained at best. In the last few years of his life, we barely spoke. Sometimes, I didn’t see him for days at a time.
On the day that he passed on, I had just woken up from sleep and was lying on bed. The time was about 9.30 pm. He was getting ready for his work as a security guard.
“Where’s (Armen)?” I heard him asked my mother.
“He’s asleep.”
I didn’t leave the room. I didn’t wish to meet him. That was how it was; our relationship. It was a struggle to acknowledge his presence.
But that night, I felt something different. The way he asked about me, there was a sort of sadness and loss. Emptiness. I felt compelled to exit my room and bid him farewell before he left for work that night. But the stubborn, rebellious me refused to let my heart dictate what’s best.
That night he left for work and didn’t come back to ask about me anymore. He couldn’t. The Son of the servant of God has been called back by He Who he serves.
It has been more than 10 years since. I sometimes wonder what he could have said as a last piece of advice to me before he left. Maybe that one last piece of advice would have helped me, so I would not have been so lost in the subsequent years.
But about three years later, another Rahman told me that He too have an Advice for me. I found it when I was contemplating, for the first time in my life, His Words in the Opening Surah:
“You alone do we worship, and You alone do we seek help.”
That was probably the beginning of my journey to find out more the faith I grew up in. To be more precise, that is the beginning of me finding my Straight Path.
With Him, no door ever closes.
Even in his death, I realise my father’s door to forgiveness and virtue was never really closed off. He has me as his son to pray for forgiveness on his behalf, to give alms and charity on his behalf, and to teach others what he has taught me on his behalf.
The door to Him never really closes, as long as someone lives in remembrance.
As such, TRUE Compassion lies in Him, with him and because of Him. For that, I should forever be in gratitude.
“Then which of your Lord’s blessings would you deny?”
“Then which of your Lord’s blessings would you deny?”
“Then which of your Lord’s blessings would you deny?”
